Let’s Start a Rock and Roll Band!
Being twenty, living at home with my single Mom that does pills every night and sleeps for cash, no girlfriend (never had one), and basically no money, there’s nothing to do. All I have is my computer, video games, and my community college that sucks. I don’t have the grades to go somewhere nice, and I’m too poor to run away.
Being a pretty boring person, I need something. Anything. I finally decided that I would do the one thing that makes every person cool, even if that person sucks at it: creating a rock band.
Having no friends, I would have to start my band from scratch at community. Having a second hand electric guitar that my older brother gave me years ago and barely played, I set off to find my new friends and band mates.
I put up signs all around my school, asking anyone with music ability to come and find me so that they could try out. On the day they were supposed to find me, only six people showed up.
The first was some hipster kid with a fedora on. I asked him what he played, and he said he plays a keytar. I ask what the fuck that is, and he pulls out a keyboard that looks like a guitar out of his case. He starts playing, and he’s good, but I still can’t shake the feeling that he’s a gigantic faggot.
Second and third were too girls who liked to sing. One was some black chick who just liked singing the same way Beyonce did and added in horrible dance moves. The other girl was some country chick from Oklahoma that sung like shit, but she was hot, so I picked her over the other chick.
Fourth was Lucas. Lucas is probably 400 pounds, black, and rides around in a wheelchair. He plays the drums, and he is fucking amazing. With his wheelchair, I don’t even have to get a seat for him to sit down on while playing.
Next was some emo chick who played bass. She was bad as well, but she wasn’t wearing a bra, so I told her that she was in.
Finally, a Korean kid, Lee Won, showed up. Wearing a South Korea soccer jersey, he took out a guitar and started to play Canon Rock. He wasn’t even fucking trying, but he was fucking amazing. He can’t speak English that well at all, and he looked more like a girl than the chick trying to be Beyonce, but the guy knew how to play guitar.
So at the end of the day, I had my band. Tony, the hipster keytar player. Chelsea, the Spears wannabe singer. Lucas, the wheelchair bound African drums player. Lauren, the depressing chick who doesn’t wear a bra. And finally, Lee Won, the Korean who can play guitar like a God.
We called ourselves KOREAN POP ROBOTS 9000.
Sleeping around, etc. My Mother is a slut. She’s not a terrible Mom, and she’s not mean, but she’s been really flaky since my Dad left her for some Swedish transfer teacher.
Anyways, after that day, we started practicing every day. The Spears wannabe didn’t show up for the first two practices, so we had the others try and sing. Lucas couldn’t sing at all, Tony and Lauren sounded like they were trying to do a cover of My Chemical Romance, but Lee Won, again, was pretty good. You couldn’t really understand the fuck he was saying because he was mixing in Korean and English, but he had a nice voice.
Chelsea showed up for our forth practice, and she said that she had an important date with her boyfriend all those days. This put me off because I wanted to bang her, so I became jealous and told her that Lee Won would be our lead singer and guitar player while she sung back up to him.
We got into a fight, she wanted to quit, but Lucas stepped in (…rolled in) and told us all to stop acting like faggots. Tony was off to the side smoking some weed, and Lee Won was reading manga on my couch. Lauren was sitting by herself on a chair I brought from my room and was staring at everyone back and forth like she was about to explode from anxiety.
We kept practicing for a few weeks, and we became closer as a band. We started thinking of songs, mostly me, and we were finally hitting a groove. Chelsea was fine…